Learning to Adapt When Life Feels Difficult
Life doesn’t always go to plan. University can bring unexpected challenges, difficult emotions and stressful situations. Psychological flexibility is the ability to respond to these experiences in a way that helps you move towards the life you want, rather than getting stuck or overwhelmed.
Being psychologically flexible doesn’t mean always feeling positive or ignoring difficult emotions. Instead, it means recognising your thoughts and feelings, accepting that they are part of being human, and choosing actions that reflect what matters most to you.
Developing psychological flexibility can improve resilience, reduce stress and help you cope more effectively with life’s ups and downs. 
Signs You May Be Feeling Stuck
Many people experience times when difficult thoughts or emotions begin to take over. You might notice that you:
These experiences are common and don’t mean anything is “wrong” with you. They simply suggest that your mind is trying to protect you, even if those strategies aren’t helping in the long term.
What Psychological Flexibility Looks Like
People who develop psychological flexibility are more able to:
Ways to Build Psychological Flexibility
Notice Your Thoughts
Our minds generate thousands of thoughts every day, but not every thought is a fact. Practise noticing your thoughts without automatically believing or reacting to them.
Instead of thinking: “I’m going to fail.”
Try: “I’m noticing that I’m having the thought that I might fail.”
Creating a little distance from your thoughts can help you respond more calmly.
Make Space for Difficult Feelings
It’s natural to want uncomfortable emotions to disappear, but trying to fight or avoid them can sometimes make them stronger.
Instead, try acknowledging what you’re feeling with kindness:
“I’m feeling anxious right now, and that’s understandable.”
Allowing emotions to come and go often reduces their intensity over time.
Focus on the Present
When we spend too much time replaying the past or worrying about the future, it can increase stress.
Simple grounding techniques can help bring your attention back to the present moment:
Think About What Matters to You
Your values are the things that give your life meaning. They are different from goals because they describe the kind of person you want to be.
For example, you might value:
When you’re unsure what to do next, ask yourself:
“What action would move me towards the person I want to be?”
Take Small Steps
You don’t have to feel confident before taking action.
Sometimes confidence grows after we’ve taken the first small step.
If something feels overwhelming, break it down into manageable actions and celebrate progress rather than perfection.
Remember
Everyone experiences difficult thoughts, emotions and setbacks. Building psychological flexibility isn’t about eliminating discomfort—it’s about learning to respond to it differently.
With practice, you can become better at adapting to challenges, staying connected to what matters most and continuing to move forward, even when life feels difficult.
When to Seek Support
If difficult thoughts or emotions are beginning to affect your wellbeing, relationships or ability to study, it may help to talk to someone.
The University’s Mental Health & Wellbeing Team can support you in developing practical coping strategies and help you access additional support if needed.
If you’re in immediate crisis or feel unable to keep yourself safe, seek urgent support by contacting emergency services or attending your nearest Accident & Emergency department.