Understanding body image

Understanding Body Image and Building a Healthier Relationship with Your Body 

What is body image? 

Body image is the way we think, feel, and relate to our body. 

It includes: 

• how we see our appearance, 

• how we believe others see us, 

• the thoughts we have about our body, 

• and the feelings and behaviours connected to it. 

Body image is not always linked to how someone objectively looks. People of any appearance, shape, size, age, gender, or fitness level can experience concerns about body image. 

Many people notice their relationship with their body changes across different stages of life. 

 

Understanding body image 

Body image is shaped by many experiences and influences. 

These may include: 

Messages from others 

Experiences throughout life can shape how people view themselves. 

Examples include: 

• comments from family or peers 

• social expectations 

• comparison with others 

• experiences at school, work, or online 

Personal experiences 

Life events can influence body image. 

Examples: 

• physical changes 

• illness or injury 

• pregnancy and parenthood 

• ageing 

• changes in routine or lifestyle 

Internal expectations 

People often place pressure on themselves through beliefs such as: 

• “I should look different.” 

• “I need to change before I feel confident.” 

• “Other people notice my appearance more than they do.” 

These thoughts can become exhausting when they are constant. 

 

How body image can affect wellbeing 

Body image affects more than appearance. 

Emotional experiences 

You may notice: 

• self-consciousness 

• embarrassment 

• frustration 

• disappointment 

• anxiety 

• reduced confidence 

Thinking patterns 

People sometimes notice: 

• comparing themselves to others 

• focusing on perceived flaws 

• believing appearance determines worth 

• thinking in all-or-nothing ways 

Examples: 

• “I never look good.” 

• “Everyone notices this.” 

• “I’ll feel better once I change.” 

Behaviour changes 

Body image concerns can sometimes lead to: 

• avoiding photographs 

• changing clothing choices 

• checking appearance repeatedly 

• avoiding social activities 

• seeking reassurance 

• spending large amounts of time thinking about appearance 

These behaviours often reduce discomfort temporarily but may sometimes keep concerns going. 

 

Understanding the body image cycle 

Body image concerns can become self-reinforcing. 

Self-criticism → Increased attention on appearance → Avoidance or checking → Short-term relief → More concern 

Example: 

Notice something you dislike 
↓ 
Focus on it repeatedly 
↓ 
Avoid activities or seek reassurance 
↓ 
Temporary relief 
↓ 
Appearance feels even more important 

This cycle can happen gradually and often begins as an attempt to feel more comfortable. 

 

Building a healthier relationship with your body 

Improving body image does not mean loving every aspect of appearance all the time. 

It may involve developing a more balanced and respectful relationship with your body. 

1. Notice your internal language 

Ask: 

• How do I speak to myself? 

• Would I speak to someone else this way? 

Try shifting from judgement toward observation. 

Instead of: “My body is wrong.” 

Try: “I’m noticing I’m feeling critical today.” 

 

2. Reduce comparison where possible 

Comparison is common but often incomplete. 

Remember: 

• people usually show selected moments, 

• appearance rarely reflects wellbeing, 

• bodies naturally vary. 

Notice when comparison leaves you feeling worse. 

 

3. Focus on function as well as appearance 

Consider: 

• What allows me to experience life? 

• What does my body help me do? 

Examples: 

• moving, 

• resting, 

• connecting, 

• learning, 

• expressing emotion. 

 

4. Gradually reduce avoidance 

Where appropriate, consider small steps such as: 

• wearing comfortable rather than “safe” clothing, 

• participating in activities, 

• allowing photographs, 

• spending less time checking appearance. 

The aim is not exposure for its own sake — it is creating more freedom. 

 

5. Broaden your sense of identity 

Ask yourself: 

What else matters to me besides appearance? 

You may value: 

• relationships 

• humour 

• creativity 

• kindness 

• learning 

• work 

• interests 

• community 

Your appearance is only one part of who you are. 

 

Reflection Exercise 

Take a moment to consider: 

When do I feel most comfortable in myself? 
_________________ 

What situations increase self-criticism? 
_________________ 

What would a kinder response sound like? 
_________________ 

What matters to me beyond appearance? 
_________________ 

 

When to seek additional support 

Consider reaching out for support if body image concerns: 

• take up a lot of mental energy, 

• affect eating or exercise habits, 

• lead to avoiding activities, 

• affect confidence or relationships, 

• feel difficult to manage alone. 

Support may include wellbeing services, talking therapies, specialist services, or speaking with a healthcare professional. 

 

A final thought 

Body image is not about never having difficult thoughts. 

For many people, progress looks like spending less time in conflict with their body and more time living according to what matters to them.  

This page provides general wellbeing information and is not a substitute for professional assessment, diagnosis, or treatment.